I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
