At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
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