I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
