id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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