he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
