I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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