At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
