he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They took my balls.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
