Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
