even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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