okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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