i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
