Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
