I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize