this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
