if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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