I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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