spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
