Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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