she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
