What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
