he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm always down for nudity.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
