Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
