Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize