Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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