at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
