GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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