I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
