wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
