i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
