she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You don't make any sense
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