ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize