my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't think brook has ever known best
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dear god my vagina.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
