so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
