It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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