we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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