you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
