I'm laying in your front yard are you home
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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