ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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