My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize