I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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