Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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