I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
