I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
