What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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