my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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