I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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