I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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