If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize