My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
