And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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