I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
