It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
