Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
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sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
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I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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