I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize