we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
