It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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