i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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