Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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