k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
