I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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