Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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