So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
