I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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